Friday, 27 July 2007

Sex Lies and Hypnosis - programme 2

I have been away so am catching up on my TV programmes. The second programme of "Sex Lies and Hypnosis" aired on 10 July about a couple, Darren and Antoinette, who were planning to marry but rowed incessantly. She felt insecure and constantly questionned whether her fiancé loved her enough so unconsciously was pushing him away to test that love. He was tired of her controlling nature. They needed marriage counselling before they were even married. Watching them initially, they did not appear to be a couple at all.

They did not speak for ten days after each of their first sessions as neither wanted to be the first to start the discussion even though they both wanted to know what had happened.

Ursula James saw each partner over a 12-weeks period using regression therapy to find the demons in their past. Antoinette had a strict Catholic upbringing in Ireland, living with her grandmother from age 3-6 until reunited with her mother.

It transpired that the main cause of their disharmony was that Antoinette had attempted suicide two years previously with a paracetamol overdose. The couple had never discussed this so both internalised their raw and strong emotions. Darren was angry with Antoinette for not considering the effect her death would have had on him. She had used the attempt to test his love as she thought he would initially grieve but quickly get over her.

Ursula encouraged them to write a letter to each other and read them out loud in a session. Only then did Antoinette fully believe in Darren's love for her and his total commitment. They then threw themselves into wedding planning and went on to marry three months later.

Recommended books by Ursula James available from or

© Antonia Stuart-James 2007. Reproduction only permitted with author's credit and website link.

Antonia Stuart-James is an English hypnotherapist in Belgium helping people to make positive change, overcome unwanted habits and relieve stress-related health problems.

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